Diary of the Modern Man

Delicious Xenoestrogens, YUM!

Ding! The microwave alerts me that my most delectable meal is now fully prepared for consumption. This fanciest of all microwavable dinners is held in a plastic bowl covered by a plastic sheet glued onto the plastic bowl by an inedible glue with a melting point much lower than is required to cook the meal. I dump the meal onto a plastic plate, because I’m not a low-class savage, and carry it over to my plastic table where I sit in my plastic chair. I pick up my plastic fork and stab at my hot meal before lifting the food up to my mouth and inserting the fork into my mouth.

Fuck! Way too hot. As my mouth burns, I run to my fridge to grab some water to stop the pain. Damn it, no water. I forgot to fill the fridge after I drank the last bottle. So, I run out to the garage, poke my finger into the plastic wrapping to make a hole, rip the plastic open with both hands and pull out a plastic water bottle. By this point my mouth is already seared. The roof of my mouth is flaking. Glug, glug, glug, I drink half the bottle down. It’s not nearly as thirst quenching as I’d hoped it to be as the garage is usually over 100 degrees. No worries though, I store my plastic water bottles in the garage but I put them in the fridge before I drink them. I store them out there because I buy in bulk. A case sometimes sits in the sweltering garage for months or even a year. I only drink water out of plastic bottles because my tap water tastes horrible.

I try to finish the meal stored in a plastic bowl with a plastic sheet, dumped onto a plastic plate set on a plastic table, eaten with a plastic fork, washed down with water stored in a plastic bottle but there’s just too much. I put the rest in a plastic container with a plastic lid so I can heat it up in the microwave tomorrow for lunch.

My wife usually doesn’t have time to make dinner. She’s too busy working at her job in human resources. We’ve had trouble getting pregnant. She makes me wear a cock cage. I like it when she spits on me and calls me a bitch while I watch her getting fucked.

Child Abuse

I feel kinda funny. I guess you could say I’m a little nervous, but I’m also super extra excited.

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The Abandoned

My body aches as I sit. The chronic pain of being stationary on concrete is one that permeates my...

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It’s another Tuesday, sitting at my desk, staring at my computer, wondering where I went wrong in life.

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Delicious Xenoestrogens...

Ding! The microwave alerts me that my most delectable meal is now fully prepared for consumption.

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Self Defense Situation

My arm around her waist, my hand around her neck, she is suspended in mid air. For a brief second she is flying...

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Splash Water On My...

It’s 3pm on a Friday and I can’t even describe how excited I am for the weekend.

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On Having No Head

Mom! Dad! AHHHHH! HELP!!! Why! AHHHH! Why is this happening!!! Please, please don’t!!! AHH...

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Tranny Dad

Where did I go wrong? Was I not present enough when he was a child? Did I not pay enough attention to him when he was younger? Sure, I wasn’t all that attentive...

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Fall In Line

I’m so happy he is dead. No longer will I be tortured every day. Every time I wanted to have my own opinion. Every time I wanted to vote based on my own ideas...

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Hi everyone reading this, my name is Jason and I’m so privileged to have the time to speak to you guys today. If you’re reading this, well then have I got news for you...

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Alone and Empowered

My guinea pig died last night. I woke up to the smell of dead flesh and decaying soul. The flesh was his and the soul was mine. You wouldn’t think such a recent corpse...

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